Quick, to the slutcave!
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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