youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I love you. Go after that dick
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
