forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
