Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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