Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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