I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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