I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
