Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
dude i'm inner monologue high
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
