I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
