tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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