the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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