just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
