Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
