I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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