Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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