Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Randomize
