i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
