Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
