Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
