when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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