she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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