from now on my penis is your penis
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
