Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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