He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I didn't notice because vodka
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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