So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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