Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
