We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I cut my penus on the lid.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
