Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
