Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
