Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
