My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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