Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Holy shit dude........stairs
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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