Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
