recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
