yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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