Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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