I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
