its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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