and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
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life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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