Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
