the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
