i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
