Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
