Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
