I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
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Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
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I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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