Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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