OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
