watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Your cock deserves a montage
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
