Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
