The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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