I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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