can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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