u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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