It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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