Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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