Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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