i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
