arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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