He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
