Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
