The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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