It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
